Is it?, or not?

From what I've been reading, it may be a long time before someone actually says to me "You have Wegener's". I guess that's alright with me, on most days. It gives me a false sense of hope.

My emotions have a new cycle that plays over and over. I feel sick, accept my disease, I fight, I'm reminded I don't yet have a diagnosis, I wander aimlessly, then I have a really "off" day, I read medical papers and blogs, I realize I'm really sick, accept my disease etc etc.

I went to SLEEP last night at 9pm. NINE. I woke up at 6 and got Andrew off to school, 730 Bailee out the door, 8'clock Gabe. Came home and went back into a deep long sleep and didn't wake up again until 1:30pm. WTHeck?! The best part? I still feel like going back to sleep. I'm fighting it. I just want to roll over and go night night again. So the last few hours I've been reading all about Wegener's. One poor gal KNEW she had the disease five years ago. It only took the medical world that long to diagnose her. She finally obtained a diagnosis. I don't think having a diagnosis will make me physically better, in fact, I know it won't. But it would certainly help me to accept the new me a lot easier. Who needs easy anyway? Whatever.

I can't breath well. My nasal passage is swollen all the time. It doesn't drip or bleed, it's just always enflamed. Infections, have been limited, thank heavens. The only stubborn infection was last spring when I had a case of strep throat that would not leave. I had three rounds of antibiotics. The final round (is a 30 day supply considered a round?) kicked it. I have this rash on my face, it comes and goes. Paul says it's just acne. haha.. that's funny to me. I've never experienced acne and I can't say for sure this isn't acne. But, I'm pretty sure acne doesn't manifest in a cluster about 2 square inches in a deep red hue only to mysteriously disappear the next day. Sometimes it's two days, but it comes and goes and it's only on my face. And I can't forget the transient arthritis (the new name I read about today). It starts in my feet/ankles and moves to my knees, hips, elbows and moves to a new spot everyday. It's a constant surprise. I guess I should feel special. Last, but not least...I'm so dang-please-let-me-stay-in-bed-for-the-next-72hrs-SLEEPY. Not just tired, but my eyes want to roll back into my head sleepy. Although... I must remember... we can't say I have Wegener's just yet. I think we're waiting for my kidneys to fail for the full diagnosis.

I guess I should get up now. It's almost bedtime.